Filling in for DPF

Since DPF has taken off for a few days of sun on Great Barrier Is — the local greens are said to be arming themselves in readiness, but just with water pistols, you understand — the squad of giddy right-wing toadies collectively known as the ‘kiwiblog right’ must at bit of a loss. So, not wanting to see lesser species suffer unduly, I have undertaken to provide some of the masterful ‘cut-and-paste’ commentary for which KB is noted.

Here goes…

Gordon Campbell — yes, I know DPF wouldn’t give him the time of day, but this is a leftie blog, so what do you expect — has blogged about Sharon Stone, Scott McClellan and Mike Ward.

Magic! He’s done all the work and covered all the most interesting but least significant topics of the day… Quick, time for a quote I think.

Campbell:

“In the wake of Sharon Stone’s comments at the Cannes Film Festival about Tibet and the Dalai Lama, China’s official state news agency has branded her “the public enemy of all mankind” – an even harsher review than those she got for Basic Instinct.”

Gosh that’s clever. Wish I’d thought of that. Commentary, you say? That was the commentary, stupid. Hmm, what’s all this stuff about yartsa gunbu – a caterpillar medicinal fungus. Sounds a bit technical, time to move on…

Campbell:

“Scott McClellan’s revelations about the (gasp) rampant lies and deceptions of the Bush administration that he served so assiduously in his role as White House press secretary, have shot his book to the top of the US best seller charts. It has also inspired this terrific parody by Michael Kinsley, based on what would happen if the old, lying Scott McClellan met the new, virtuous one. Sample :

“It’s sad. It’s just sad. In all my years of public service, I am one of the finest people I have ever had the privilege to know and work with. I cannot imagine why I have chosen this moment to turn against everything I have always stood for—lies, deception, secrets, double talk—unless it was for a six-figure book advance. But the me I knew believed that some things, such as duty, are more important than money. That me saw misleading the public as the highest of missions. That me would never betray me the way this me has done. Frankly, it’s a puzzle. But I will be talking with me later this afternoon, on Oprah, and maybe then I will get some answers. Until then, all I can say is that it’s just very, very sad.”

Nice long quote that one. More humour too. Gosh I’m a funny guy. Doesn’t leave me much room to say anything except, Nowhere in the book does McClellan use the words “rampant lies”. Come on Campbell, that’s just that moronic “Bush lied” meme again.

Campbell also previews the Greens annual conference runs through this weekend in Auckland. Never mind the serious stuff, though.

Campbell:

“The sideshow at the conference could still be Mike Ward, and his ongoing blocking of co-leader Russel Norman’s bid to enter Parliament on the party list. It is hard to believe that Ward – who loves a crowd – could pass up a chance for a U-turn, and another spin in the spotlight. Having made his point – which is uh, that’s he’s a very, very important guy – Ward could well decide that the love, and the unity and the hugs are worth a re-think.”

Heh. That’s what happens when you put so many fruitloops towards the top of your list.

[How was that? I’m available next time you want a holiday, DPF. And seriously folks, if you don’t check out Gordon Campbell’s stuff at scoop, you’re missing out big-time.]

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Tags: humour (lame)